Simply Insignificant
(sung to the tune of Robert Palmer's "Simply Irresistable.")

by Jim Davies, www.jimdavies.org, jim@jimdavies.org
http://www.jimdavies.org/art/simply-insignificant.txt

This paper's not permissible
it's rejected just on principle, yeah yeah
Her alpha level's laughable
Her methods are inscrutable

The results looked so good, I thought acceptance was due
But it turns out her findings are too good to be true
They used to look good to me, but now I find them

Simply insignificant
Simply insignificant

You'd think her test was powerful, huh
It's simply unavoidable
The trends looked believable
The methadology's invisible

Gave a great presentation at this conference I just went
but neglected to do her Bonferroni adjustment
Results looked good to me but now I find them

Simply insignificant
Simply insignificant

(Simply insignificant) It's so bad, there's no telling where the data's from
(Simply insignificant) It's so bad, rejection is the only way to go

I'll grant her that her N is very ample
with manufactured data for her biased sample
confirming claims with anecdotal example
It used to look good to me, but now I find it

Simply insignificant
It's so bad, there's no tellin' where the NSF money went
(Simply irresistible) Theory's so bad, you can't even tell if it's wrong

The F test was unsuitable
The "proof" unfalsifiable, Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
The paper's very missable
My crit is indisputable

It looked like her subjects were on the right path
the only thing double-blind was her knowledge of math
The results looked good to me but now I find them

Simply insignificant
Simply insignificant

It's so bad, there's no telling where the data's from
(Simply insignificant) It's so bad, rejection is the only way to go

It's so bad, there's no telling where the data's from
(Simply insignificant) It's so bad, rejection is the only way to go

Simply insignificant





Original Lyrics:

How can it be permissible
She compromised my principle, yeah yeah
That kind of love is mythical
She's anything but typical

She's a craze you'd endorse, she's a powerful force
You're obliged to conform when there's no other course
She used to look good to me, but now I find her

Simply irresistible
Simply irresistible

Her loving is so powerful, huh
It's simply unavoidable
The trend is irreversible
The woman is invincible

She's a natural law, and she leaves me in awe
She deserves the applause, I surrender because
She used to look good to me, but now I find her

Simply irresistible
Simply irresistible

(Simply irresistible) She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went
(Simply irresistible) She's all mine, there's no other way to go

She's unavoidable, I'm backed against the wall
She gives me feelings like I never felt before
I'm breaking promises, she's breaking every law
She used to look good to me, but now I find her

Simply irresistible
She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went
(Simply irresistible) She's all mine, there's no other way to go

Her methods are inscrutable
The proof is irrefutable, Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
She's so completely kissable, huh
Our lives are indivisible

She's a craze you'd endorse, she's a powerful force
You're obliged to conform when there's no other course
She used to look good to me, but now I find her

Simply irresistible
Simply irresistible

She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went
(Simply irresistible) She's all mine, there's no other way to go
She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went
(Simply irresistible) She's all mine, there's no other way to go

Simply irresistible